Magic Dust wedding planning ideas, tips & advice

This is where the fun begins, but it can be easy to get overwhelmed and start feeling tired, stressed and irritable before you've even started to plan your big day. Who needs that?

So, if you remember just one thing, please make it this – prioritise early. Decide on the things you and your other half will, and won't, compromise on. Once you've done that, anything is possible. Put aside some time to sit down and talk, and don't forget to listen too!

You'll probably both have to compromise a little bit but this can be a positive thing. It's great practice for the rest of your lives together – remember that you both want to feel really comfortable with all the decisions you've made come the big day.

If you're not convinced that this is something you can do easily, or quickly, and you fancy a helping hand from a friendly face who knows how to ask the right questions of you and help you work out what you both want, and need, from your big day, then contact magicdust today.

After you've done this you'll be amazed how much more in control you'll feel. Now you just need to set a date and your budget and you're off! Sounds easy doesn't it but these are two of the most important, and toughest, decisions to make – you need time, patience and clear priorities (and there's nothing to stop you asking magicdust to help you at this stage!).

Think who, what, where, when and how before you even contemplate setting a date:

- Who do you absolutely, definitely have to have at your wedding? It's a good idea to check the diaries of family and friends as soon as possible.

- What will you not compromise on? This will be the easy bit if you took my advice earlier! Is your heart set on a winter wedding? Do you have to have tulips in your wedding bouquet?

- Where do you want to get married? Have you got a dream venue in mind – and checked availability? Do you want a church wedding or a civil ceremony?

- When do you want to get married? Is there a date that's special to you both? Is your honeymoon destination going to be a deciding factor?

- How are you going to do it? How long will it take you to organise your big day and are you confident you can do it without professional help? And, most importantly, how are you going to pay for it all?

That leads us beautifully onto setting your budget! If the thought of doing this fills you with dread then please listen carefully. If you don't set a budget right at the beginning I guarantee you will spend far more than you think you will and up to your eyeballs in debt is no way to start married life. But, if you set up a simple budget spreadsheet and prioritise immediately, update it regularly and be as flexible as you can when necessary, you'll stay on track and on budget.

If you ask magicdust to plan your wedding you will have access to our budget planner and we will ensure you stay on track throughout the process – that in itself is likely to mean we save you more money than you spend with us!

The only thing that you have to do, and pay for, in order for this to be a wedding is the ceremony! Everything else is a moveable feast at this stage and the trick is to find ways of saving money on things that don't matter as much to you, in order to splurge on the things you absolutely can't do without!

This is where a professional wedding planner is invaluable – access to our contact book, creativity and can-do attitude sets magicdust apart from the rest. You don't have to spend anything like the average £20,000 a wedding now costs to have an amazing day, nor is there anything to stop you spending a lot more if you can afford it but either way, decide on a budget, include 10% contingency, and stick to it.

Remember, our specially designed Girls Night In session can play a big role in answering the questions above - contact us to find out more about how we can help you at this crucial stage.

PS – Working with a wedding planner at this crucial stage, and indeed at any stage of the planning process, does not mean that you are handing over control of your big day to someone else! Far from it – unless you've chosen the wrong planner!?!

At magicdust we guide you through the minefield of decisions, offering advice, support and inspiration but never forcing you to do something you're not comfortable with or telling you that it has to be done a certain way 'because'.

The perfect wedding planner is an extra pair of hands, hours of time that you can use how you need to, a mine of information about all things wedding and someone who wants to see you both looking relaxed, happy and completely stress-free on your big day. In short, they're indispensable!

If you've followed magicdust's "First Things First" advice from last month, then you've agreed on the date and booked the venue! Those decisions are two of the most important ones you'll have to make, but they are just the start of a frenzy of decision making, so I hope you're ready!

Carry your list of priorities with you everywhere – this should stop you making rash decisions or buying things because someone's putting pressure on you (or you're putting it on yourself!). You need to make the next round of decisions with a level head and a clear understanding and vision of your big day and, whatever happens, don't lose sight of what the day is all about. magicdust run a fantastic Girls Night In session designed to give you the confidence that comes from having your plans inspired and on track - click here to find out more.

At magicdust we are a firm believer in the power of simplicity. For simple style and design to be effective it needs to be incredibly well planned, don't be fooled into thinking simple means no effort. When you have a well-thought through vision, be it a colour palette or a more elaborate 'theme', it is the planning and attention to detail that will ensure that events stay on track and on budget. Click here to find out more about magicdust's bespoke wedding planning and design service.

So, here are a few of the decisions you now need to make:

The reception – now you know where you're getting married you can look at the type of reception you'd like. Lunch, afternoon tea, sit down dinner, evening buffet? Decide on the timings of the day and think about when you're going to do things like speeches? Are you going to invite people to join you for the evening and, if so, what time do you want them to arrive?

magicdust tip: If you have a theme in mind, make sure that it is in keeping with the venue and the time of year. A Christmas wedding date lends itself perfectly to an old stately home with roaring log fires and a 'Winter Wonderland' theme – think how odd it would seem and how hard it would be to pull off an English country garden wedding with a Pimms reception on the lawn in December!? You'll have enough to worry about without trying to make the impossible happen too!

The wedding party – think long and hard about the people you ask to be bridesmaids, best man, usher(s) and remember you can do it your way and have as many, or as few, of these traditional roles as you want. Either way, you need people who will be supportive, calm and happy to pitch in both before and on the big day itself

magicdust tip: too many girlfriends of the bride to have as bridesmaids? Give them special responsibilities for the things that really matter to you i.e. getting people together for photos, encouraging guests to leave messages in your Guest Book or ask them to surprise you with a reading they've chosen themselves. Why not treat your girlfriends to a Girls Night In with magicdust to make them feel involved from the start?

The guest list – it may not come naturally to you but you are going to have to be a bit ruthless here. You will already have an idea of how many people you want to invite (or goodness knows how you managed to book your venue!) but now you need to come up with the definitive list. It's worth having an 'A list' and a 'B list', not that you will tell anyone which list they're on – ever! Make a firm decision about whether or not you're going to invite children and don't be swayed. Don't forget that you can ask magicdust to manage your RSVPs for you to lighten the load.

Don't attempt to do absolutely everything yourself, even if you love organising things! There are no prizes for working yourself into a stressed-out mess in the run up to your day. Make sure you delegate so you've got enough time to spend relaxing and pampering – your job is to look fantastic and enjoy every minute of the best day of your life!

Talking of which... ask someone else to be in charge on the day itself – your wedding planner will do this if you're using one – you will have much better things to concentrate on! Click here to find out more about magicdust's On Your Day Coordination.

Once you have agreed and confirmed the reception, the wedding party and the guest list, you can start thinking about all the personal touches that are going to make your day a celebration to remember!

If you've followed our advice to date, you've got your list of priorities keeping you on track; you've set the date and the budget (and you're sticking to it!); you've decided on the style of reception, the wedding party is finalised and your guest list is agreed. Phew! I bet you're dying to put your feet up...

Not so fast, it's time to get personal! The key to getting the personal touches right is to 'clear the clutter'. By that I mean the hundreds of different ideas you see every time you pick up a magazine, the 'must-haves' that you keep being told you'll regret not having and even the well-meaning advice everyone who's ever got married, or been to a wedding, seems to offer you all the time. Try to clear your mind of it all just for a while.

Now is the time to be selfish and revel in the fact that, for once, it really is all about you! Well, the two of you actually!

Your wedding will be memorable because it's your wedding, don't forget that.

Don't buy anything to personalise your big day until you've spent some time deciding what aspects of your personalities and your life together you want to use to give your day the 'wow' factor.

Think about the two of you and make a list (or do it in your head if you're not a serial list-maker) of where you met, what you do in your spare time, interests you share, things you're obsessed with. Is there something there you could use? Could the place where you met inspire ideas? Perhaps you spend every weekend playing golf or you want to bring your eco-friendly lifestyle into your wedding celebration in some way?

Think about using colour to add personality (if your partner is a sports fan – and you like his team's colours – this should get him involved!); have a cartoon designed of you both and repeat it on all your wedding stationery; use the time of year you're getting married to inspire you; incorporate cultural traditions that you love and explain them to your guests so they feel involved and know why it means so much to you both.

One of the best things about being a wedding planner is seeing the look on a couple's faces when you've finished asking them lots of questions and you suggest how they might add the personal touch to their day. If I had a pound for every time I heard, “I would never have thought of that but it's perfect!”. Talk to your friends and family, think about speaking to a wedding planner for an objective, experienced point of view on this topic and then decide what your personal touch is going to be and run with it. Click here to see how magicdust's Girls Night In session can help you get your plans and personal touches on track

Once you've decided on your personal touches you won't feel so confused and exhausted by the sheer volume of ideas you are bombarded with when you start to source things. It'll be easier to stay on track and on budget and, don't forget the quality over quantity rule! This is not about spending a fortune, it's about finding clever, special, meaningful ways of showing your guests, and more importantly each other, how perfect you are for one another. It's absolutely not about buying favours because you have to or having a chocolate fountain because everyone does nowadays so don't get sidetracked (unless you want to of course!).

One of my favourite weddings was one where almost every guest could be heard saying, “It's just so Rachel & Jamie” at some point during the day! The effect was subtle, simple, sophisticated and had been planned in enormous detail – nothing was left to chance and it paid off as I knew it would. The power of the personal touch is a wonderful thing!

Or "The Most Important Shopping List you Will Ever Write"...

We've had our responsible heads on recently, and have taken an alternative look at how to manage your wedding budget.

Research by Credit Action recently found that at least a third of food bought in the weekly shop found itself in the dustbin the following week, simply because people bought too much or were tempted by “special offers” they either didn't need or didn't want. It's a mindset that goes beyond the weekly shop and into all aspects of modern life – even into weddings.

When it comes to weddings, rational thought about spending limits and affordability has a nasty habit of deserting people. Bombarded by information from magazines, the internet and well-meaning friends and family, it's not long before a couple's perception of reality fades and £500 here or £350 there adds up to serious overspending.

Starting married life crippled with debt is not romantic, but this is exactly how couples end up unless they take control of their finances immediately and begin to think of their wedding day as the start of a marriage, not the culmination of a fantasy. Nearly half of clients spoken to by The Legal Services Research Centre stated that debt problems had a negative effect on relationships with their partners – so why would couples want to add to that statistic before the ink is dry on their wedding certificate?

That said, there is an approach to planning a wedding that doesn't necessarily mean doing it “on the cheap”, but instead focuses on the relative value and enjoyment of everything involved. Not only does it help to keep focus, it will keep the budget front of mind so that a couple's priorities can do exactly what they're supposed to do... take priority. magicdust have taken the current average cost of a wedding – an eye-opening £20,000 – and the relative amount spent on each element, then ranked each element on a 'cost per minute' scale, based on how long they actually play a part in the celebrations.

For example, a bride will wear her wedding dress for around 12 hours, the food will be eaten for about two hours if it's a sit-down three-course meal, and couples will look at their wedding photos and/or video for about an hour a year for the rest of their lives.

Using the table that follows, it's possible to see at a glance the value in 'cost per minute' terms to be had from a wedding budget, to help couples see if it reflects their priorities. Armed with this information they will be able to justify splashing out on the things they have decided are priorities, and be happy to save on the areas that they're not so bothered about.

What is the benefit of taking such an approach?

If the couple have decided that one of their priorities ISN'T a wedding cake but find themselves strangely drawn to a £500 creation and can't drag themselves away, it reminds them that the cake will only really be a part of their day for the 10 minutes of posing for pictures as it is cut (if indeed they even decide to follow this tradition) and that the cost per minute will therefore be £50.

Compare this to the amount they could spend on stationery - the first taste that friends and family will have of the celebration, and the perfect opportunity to stamp their own personalities on proceedings. At a cost per minute of £1.66, you start to see how the important and personal things aren't the ones that cost a fortune, and how to navigate the minefield of decisions much more easily.

Far be it from magicdust to tell couples what they should and shouldn't spend their money on but we feel a responsibility to warn about the potential pitfalls involved in planning a wedding - and spending what is highly likely to be the largest amount of 'real' money they will ever spend on a single day.

magicdust have a great way to help couples set their priorities and make decisions - our in-home "Girls Night In" planning session is a great way to get your plans off to a flying start. Click here to find out more.

sources: Credit Action October 2007, Legal Services Research Centre,
www.thisisweddings.com

I thought I'd take this opportunity to offer couples five tips to help everything go to plan - and to ensure the both of you can make the most of your celebration.

1. Making sure the DJ gets there, and on time.

Now, I'm not picking on DJs here as you could enter the name of any supplier here - florist, cake maker, make-up artist, caterer, magician... the list is endless! The point is, most suppliers will have been booked by you when you were at the peak of your planning frenzy, weeks, if not months, before your wedding day and you may not have had the time to reconfirm all the details with them in the week before the day itself. Worse still, their computer may have had a melt-down and lots your details!

How do you make this happen?

Ask someone you trust, someone who is good with details (perhaps your Dad or your best friend, the lawyer!) and who won't give up at the first unreturned phone call, to contact all of your suppliers in the last 2 weeks before the wedding.

They'll need to get the name of the person coming on the day, their mobile number, details of what they're bringing and when and and any other useful info (do they need paying on or before the day and if so, how much and by what method?). It's also a good idea to have a set of directions that can be emailed to every supplier so that they'll be properly prepared!

2. Getting the tables set up as you expect them to be.

You've put a lot of thought and time, not to mention money and effort, into how you want the reception venue to look when you walk in for the first time. Hours spent pouring over websites, magazines, books to get things just perfect for your wedding.

So you're bound to be a little disappointed, even if you know you shouldn't be, when the centre pieces are facing the wrong way, the bows aren't straight on your favour boxes or the place name cards aren't exactly where you wanted them to be. But did you take the time to tell anyone exactly what the picture in your head looked like?

How do you make this happen?

Ask someone you trust to take responsibility for making sure that the room and tables are laid out exactly as you want them to be. This could be one of your bridesmaids who is renowned for her organisational skills and her friendly nature (a smile always helps to get things done, after all!).

You'll need to sit down with her and tell her exactly how you want things to look - sketch table layouts on pieces of paper, tell her what you're looking to achieve, and why, and then let her be the gatekeeper of that vision. She'll need to liaise with the venue before the wedding day and work with them on it to make sure that the only thing that overshadows the set-up is your beaming smile when you see it for the first time!

3. Making sure the food is perfect.

This is not a slight against caterers in any way - it's more of a warning to you. It is a delicate operation catering for a large amount of people and timings are absolutely crucial. Without a strict timeline for your wedding day things will over-run or, occasionally under-run, and this can cause even the calmest caterer or chef to throw a wobbly!

They are only as good as the food they serve and so, if they're forced to serve over or under cooked food due to timing issues, they won't be happy, and neither will you and your guests.

How do you make this happen?

Ask someone you trust to take charge of time-keeping for the day. An usher is usually a good person to entrust with this task (the Best Man will probably be worrying too much about his speech!), but make sure they understand the importance of it. It's no good asking someone to do this if they're going to be more interested in propping up the bar or chasing the bridesmaids all day!

They'll need to know the timings for the day that you have agreed with the venue and/or the caterer and liaise with them both on the day. They will need to take charge of getting people sat down in time for the meal to be served, or in the right area at the right time for a buffet, or bowl-food, service to commence.

You can also entrust them with making sure the speeches start on time, especially if you're planning on doing them before a meal, ensuring that any evening guests are welcomed and not just left to wander about feeling a little lost, and to help with winding things down at the end of the night.

4. Keep the atmosphere going all evening.

It wouldn't be a wedding without a few people drinking a little bit too much and, if it stays good humoured, there usually isn't any cause for complaint. But, if a few guests spoil the evening for everybody else with behaviour that gets out of hand after too much alcohol, who's going to sort it out? Not only that but you'll have the added worry that any damage they do to the venue will end up having to be paid for by you and it's not hard to see why this could mar an otherwise perfect day.

How do you do this?

Ask someone you trust, someone who doesn't drink or who you know will be sensible, to keep an eye out for trouble and nip it in the bud. Ask them to speak to the venue co-ordinator before the wedding and agree that they will not serve alcohol to people who have already had too much and ensure that this person knows at least a couple of other guests they can count on to help them calm down, or if absolutely necessary, move trouble-makers on without you even knowing about it.

5. Enjoy, and savour, every single moment of a day that flies by.

There are no prizes for brides or grooms who insist on doing everything themselves and refuse all offers of help. Well, there are, but they're not the sort of prizes you'd want to win... dark circles under your eyes, stressed out skin, dull hair, no energy to get excited and a fear that even with your best efforts things are bound to go wrong on the day.

Do you really want to spend the last couple of weeks before your wedding fielding calls from suppliers who seem to have forgotten everything you told them when you could be relaxing with your partner and catching up with friends and family who want to wish you well for your big day?

Do you want to spend the morning of your wedding racing around the reception venue, having to explain to staff for the fiftieth time that you want the place name cards on the left of the wine glass not the right, when you could be sat with your feet up, sipping a glass of champagne and being thoroughly pampered?

Do you really want to spend your entire wedding day worrying about whether you're going to run out of wine and being asked questions by people that don't need to be answered by you when you could be relaxed, happy and taking time to step back and take the mental snapshots of a wonderful day that will last you both a lifetime? Thought not.

How do you make this happen?

You've got it - find people you can trust and delegate tasks to them. Make sure you pick the right people for each task, brief them in depth and let them ask you lots of questions, and then let them get on with things - don't interfere or you might as well do it all yourself and we know that's the way nightmares lie!

People love to feel trusted with important tasks so this is the perfect way to ask friends and family who might not be your bridesmaids or ushers or readers, to play a special role on your wedding day.

But, if you don't want to impose on your friends and family and would rather they were free to enjoy every minute of this special day with you, a good wedding planner can solve all of the above problems before they even happen, and many more besides. magicdust's 'On The Day' co-ordination is one of our most popular services and that's no surprise to me.

If you'd like to talk to us about making your day run smoothly without you lifting so much as a finger, please contact us.

We never work at weddings on consecutive days so we guarantee to turn up fresh and ready for anything!

I'm leaving the final word to Claire & David who used magicdust's 'On The Day' co-ordination service for their wedding in March this year:

"Everyone says that there will always be something that goes wrong on the day, but Tammy ensured that even if there were any problems, we knew nothing about them. The best thing was all the contact she had with the suppliers, meaning that I didn't have to worry about any of them not turning up, or not knowing what to do.

We were able to purely focus on doing the things that we wanted to do in the build-up to the wedding, leaving Tammy with all the dreary detailed things, and then on the day itself - we could really focus on having a fab time and enjoying being with all our friends and family.

Tammy turned even my sceptical husband into her biggest fan for the relaxed, simple, hard-working approach that she employed with all the work that she did - even beyond the wedding when we were no longer paying. It was the best value money that we spent in our whole budget."

Imagine meeting someone that you just clicked with, someone genuinely interested in really listening to you... Well, if you were single I imagine you'd be angling for a second date but, if you were engaged and looking for someone to help you make the wedding day of your dreams a reality, I'd say you'd just met your perfect wedding planner!

I say YOUR perfect wedding planner because, just as every couple and every wedding will be different, so every wedding planner will interact differently with those couples, so the planner who was perfect for your best friend's sister might not be right for you.

But I've jumped ahead of myself and can hear the people who haven’t been married screaming, “What can a wedding planner do that I can’t do myself?” at the screen.

Well, as anyone who has been married will tell you, think whether you've got a spare 200 hours (look at it as 6 weeks working full time) - because that's the average amount of time it takes to plan a wedding. If you're confident you can handle it all, then fabulous, you can cross 'wedding planner' off that lengthy To Do list!

If, however, you have a demanding job that takes up too much of your time, if you know that organising and managing such an important event is not going to come naturally to you and if you can imagine letting someone you trust take all the stress and worry out of planning your wedding, leaving you and your other half to enjoy every second of your day and the preparations, then a wedding planner could be for you.

Below are just some of the things a wedding planner can do for you:

- Help you set and keep to a realistic budget.

- Source the best suppliers, from florists through DJs to videographers – in your price range.

- Liaise with all booked suppliers and ensure that contracts are signed and in order.

- Produce a 'wedding blueprint' that includes all the details from the big ones such as timings to the little ones like seating plans.

- Keep you up-to-date with trends and advise you on how to interpret these in your wedding plans, if you so wish.

- Produce a timeline that includes everyone involved in your big day and details their responsibilities. Your wedding planner can also ensure this timeline is adhered to.

- Provide assistance with wedding stationery, from invitation wording to RSVP management.

- Chair a pre-wedding meeting with all suppliers in attendance to ensure that everyone is aware of the details and expectations for your day.

- Manage the day itself, from behind the scenes – taking charge if any emergencies should arise.

- Be 'bad cop' to your 'good cop' whenever appropriate – ensuring everyone involved in your wedding knows what you want and shielding you from having to deal with anything you just can't face.

Don't be afraid to meet up with prospective planners in person, in fact, it would be a huge mistake to hire a wedding planner without meeting them at least once. Don't worry, they don't bite and it's as important for them to meet prospective clients as it is for you.

Your relationship with your wedding planner should be easy, open and honest on both sides and if you can't imagine that when you first meet them, you'll be doing both yourself and them a big favour by moving on to the next planner on your list.

Be wary of planners who only offer fixed price 'packages' – you're not the same as any other couple so why would you pay for something that's been designed with someone else in mind? A great wedding planner will be flexible and work to give you exactly what you want and need without forcing you to pay for things you don't. Some wedding planners offer one-on-one sessions to kickstart your planning and this can be a great way of deciding if you might need to use them further down the planning process without a big upfront financial commitment.

Your perfect wedding planner will not take centre stage on your day, - that's your job! They'll be behind the scenes making sure everything happens when it should and their greatest reward is hearing your guests tell you what a wonderful wedding it has been! Oh, and they'll definitely be looking forward to a long soak in the bath and a bit of a lie-in the next morning!

Have a look through our website to see the various ways magicdust can help you, with our range of services from complete design and coordination, through to simply helping out on the day itself.

For those of you who have just got engaged and are at the start of planning your wedding, have a look at our Girls Night In session, specially designed to give you the confidence that comes from a great kickstart to your plans.

For everyone who wants to relax and enjoy the celebration itself, confident in the knowledge that the coordination of everything is in the hands of an experienced professional, have a look at our On The Day wedding coordination service.